" I know, sis. Deb never bothered to figure out Caller ID. It didn't take long to connect calls from him to the nights she was out at a meeting or something. They've been at it for a couple of years now." And you didn't say anything?" Steph, our marriage has been a sham for a long time. I tried to talk about marriage counseling when we started sleeping in separate bedrooms, but she wasn't having any. The only reason I've stayed in the same house with her is for the kids." I didn't know. I didn't even suspect." And I damn well worked hard to keep it that way. Didn't you when your marriage fell apart?" Yeah, if nobody knows maybe you can still fix it." It isn't going to get fixed, but I hate the whole business of divorce." What about Tony and Julia?" After the shouting match we had last night, I expect they're cowering in their bedrooms. If they don't know Deb's gone, they must have suddenly gone deaf." But who will they live with?" I haven't thought that far ahead yet. At least Julia. Bob (that's my husband - but I'm sure you already knew that) said that you were getting a bit pudgy and he thought your heart wouldn't be able to handle the added cholesterol. Don't worry. I'll sneak in some real cookies and milk this year.Speaking of last year, I'd like to talk to you about last year's present. I appreciate the fact that you were thinking of me and don't want to seem ungrateful, but I must admit to some confusion. I just don't see how the 150 pairs of jockstraps could have possibly been intended for me. I just know that somewhere in the world there is a football team running around commando. Perhaps there was an error in the elf processing center or something.In order to head off such an error, I've decided to write a little earlier than usual. Did you like the bunny stamp I used? It's so hard to find one this time of year that isn't wearing shamrocks while fireworks burst over a pumpkin patch.At any rate, here's my most wanted list for this Christmas. I'd like to.
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